After their not-such-a-shock exit from all European competition until next year, Leicester Tigers almost pulled their whiskers out in dismay to find that they are not at the top of the Proper Tidy Ranking system. “MWAAAAA!!!!!!! MWAAAAAHHH!!!! It’s not FAIRRRRRR!!!!!!” yelled Leicester patron General Patrick Malaise. “Mummy. MUMMY!!! Tell the nasty man to make us top. I thought lawyers were supposed to be on OUR side. If he doesn’t I’ll scream and I’ll scream until my face goes even more bally well red than it is at present.” bitched the sore loser yesterday.
The Proper Tidy Rankings, which many believe are just made up, are accepted as being the best ranking of rugby sides since the one hit wonder Uptown Top Ranking which placed “Ting” at the top of the European Table.