All posts by Turkish

Derek the Weatherman “I’m straight”

Straight.  Fact
Straight. Fact

 

 

Wales was again rocked last night after one of it’s most loved superstars made shocking revelations about their sexuality.  Derek “the weatherman” Brockway, much loved star of such shows as BBC Wales 6:30 news and BBC Wales 9:30 news, announced that he was straight.

 

“Straight as a dye” he told a stunned news conference, “you know, girls and stuff”.

 

Visibly stunned newsreader Kevin Owens said “that’s taken the wind right out of my sails.  That’s the last time me and Max have him round for a barbeque”, adding “never in a million years”.

 

Asked what prompted him to make the news public Derek cited the recent actions of former Wales captain Gareth Thomas.  “Not the brave stance he’s taken over declaring his sexuality to a possibly hostile public” said Derek “more because he kept nudging me on Facebook and asking me round for drinks.  I just thought the time had come to set the record straight”.

Wales to beat New Zealand – Believe

Right, it’s like this.

The All Blacks are coming and we’ve got a chance of beating them, same as all the other times we’ve had a chance and then blown it. Some of you may be old enough to remember the golden age of Welsh rugby, some of you won’t. Most of you will remember the age of crap from the 70’s onwards where we lost to not only New Zealand but also everyone else, including Western Samoa, Italy, Canada and Romania. Even the most optimistic amongst will, at some stage, have thought to yourself that Wales were a load of crap and written off their chances ahead of another big game. The players looked like they’d done the same.

Back when I played rugby we always spoke about believing we were going to win. Looking round the dressing room you could always tell who really believed it and who thought we were going to lose. When there were more of the latter we generally lost. All the great teams (New Zealand, South Africa, the Kuwait Nomads) they all believe that they’re going to win. Always. They have an unwavering belief in themselves. Even if they’re down by a few points they never lose that confidence and generally it works out for them. So for Wales to win on Saturday they need to believe. Every player on the pitch needs to know, without doubt, that he’s better than his opposite number and that Wales are going to win. And the players can’t do that if we, the supporters, don’t believe.

So here’s the thing. For this week BELIEVE that Wales are going to win. Live it, breathe it, know that they are going to do it. Remember the glory of 2005 and 2008, remember how good it felt when the boys done good. We’ve got the talent, we’ve got the size and we can beat anyone. Tell your mates, spread the word, Wales are going to win. Believe, believe, believe.