Toffee-nosed bastards at the RFU have had their fill of “swarthy ex-miners with a penchant for close harmony singing”, according to official minutes released in relation to the London Welsh points-docking disciplinary debacle.
Insiders report that this week’s appeal hearing started badly when London Welsh CEO Tony Copsey regaled the committee with his Richard Burton impersonation before leading well wishers in a lusty rendition of ‘You Can Stick Your F—king Chariots Up Your Arse (Aye Aye Yippy Yippy Aye)’. Conflicting reports still surround the subsequent spilling of Brains, and its impact on Welsh’s relegation plight.
“They’ve all had it in for us since the first game,” snarled Copsey. “We wondered how Leicester Tigers managed to ban our half-time Motorcycle Sheep Display Team from performing when it was actually held at our own ground, not theirs. Now we know it was them stinkin’ Saes.”
“The French have had their worst international season on record, and it’s no surprise with all the leek-munchers plying their trade over there,” guffawed Miles Rathbone-Squib, Presiding Tosser of the RFU Disciplinary Board. “The cultural impact of having a team full of them can’t be underestimated, as anyone who’s ever attended a London Welsh post-match buffet will testify. A table-full of exclusively beige sweet and savoury sundries might be de rigeur in Pontypandy, but we don’t want that sort of thing in our league.”
“Don’t get me wrong; some of my best friends are Welsh coloured.”