Howley Coat Quest Reaches Edinburgh

Rob Howley’s enduring mission to find a coat that actually fits him enters a new chapter this weekend with the revelation that Millett’s on Princes Street has got a sale on.

“Kick off at Murrayfield is at 2:30pm so I should be able to fit a quick browse in between the pre-match meal and the anthems, though I doubt I’ll find anything,” lamented the ace Wales coach, who’s remarkable physique features shorter-than-average arms and a hernia the size of watermelon.  “I’ve done the three-quarter length waterproof look to death, but the sleeves keep coming past my hands and I can’t see over the collar when it’s turned up.  I might go for a big knit if they’ve got a 2 for 1 and the queue isn’t too long.”

In a special exclusive for tomorrow’s Western Mail 17-page international weekend special, Howley also discloses the team bus seating plan, providing revealing insights into squad dynamics.

“Adam Jones is the first on, and always sits right at the back – in the middle.  That’s for practical reasons you understand, else we’d have to have the two physios and all the balls come in a separate car.  Then you’ve got George North and Toby Falateu who I’ve got notes from their mams saying if they sit backwards then they’ll get a bit too queasy.  James Hook is another interesting one.  He always stands in the vestibule next to the steps and the chemical toilet to keep his legs fresh for sitting on the bench for the first 75 minutes of every match.”