Celtic Nations to Form Magners Pear League.

Celtic rugby chiefs have rolled up the sleeves of their blazers and taken a bold step by dragging the marketing of their sport into the Twentieth Century. By aping the cider manufacturer, Magners’, the brains’ trust of the WRU, SRU and IRNBRU have taken basically the same product and added a few minor variations on a common theme. “There are lots of stupid arsed times that games can start” said WRU (editor’s note: check what job title he’s got) David Pickering. “One of our new innovations includes Wednesday 1.17pm kick offs. And there’s definitely a gap in the market at 7.25am on a Thursday. We’d have to fight off the challenge of TransWorld Xtreme Women’s sport, which is on Eurosport five minutes earlier, but we’re confident that we’re up to the challenge. We’ve also done a SWOT analysis and there’s definitely no threat of being attacked by highly armed police.”

Other supporter friendly initiatives are thought to include away fans, televising the games on a TV station that doesn’t go bust and using non-English speaking Dutch referees. The latter is expected to be lead to a 50% reduction in tries awarded after the wing has run into the crowd to chat with a mate before touching the ball down.

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