As the Ryan Air plane brought the Irish team home today, Declan Kidney confirmed the IRFU were launching an appeal against Wales in a last chance bid to reignite their World Cup campaign. Speaking at Liverpool Airport, as he boarded a bus to a ferry destined for Dublin, the Irish coach SLAMMED Wales and accused them of blatant cheating.
“Uncle Barry lodged a complaint this morning with the IRB and we are looking to have Wales thrown out of the competition.”
Reports emerged this morning that several unnamed Irish contacts in the Welsh regional set up had produced STRONG evidence to indicate Wales were planning on featuring a GIRAFFE and a FOX during the game.
“Clearly this is against IRB rules and ruined our game plan. How can you tackle a fox?” said Irish Prop Cian Healy “He just ran right past me.”
“We knew about the lions” said Ronan O’Gara. “but we’re sure the other animals are against the rules. We don’t do dat tort o ting.”
When questioned, Declan Kidney refused to drawn into a war of words with the animal rights group PETA over Ireland’s alleged misuse of ponies from the entertainment industry. “Jamie had an off day, but will bounce back.” said the Coach, before paying a 25 Euro charge for failing to check in online and a further 10 Euro charge for using Mastercard instead of Maestro.