After a random drunken trawl through wikipedia (the lazy man’s Big Book of Facts 1974), Wales on Sunday’s royal correspondent and chief photocopier, Iwan Philips made a huge discovery. “It turns out that Henry VII was born in Wales. This means that his son, Henry VII+1 was technically Wales on Sunday Welsh” shouted Philips down a phoneline at 3 o’clock in the morning. “This is great news for the paper as we can now quote everything he says as being Welsh. Also his kids were eligible to play for Wales. Had rugby existed.”
Academics at The University of Aberystwyth were thrilled at the news. As thrilled as an academic can be. Even more so than when they find a cardigan in a new type of beige wool. ” It all stands to reason.” explained Dr Phil McRack at the newly renamed Aberystwyth and Swansea University College. “For years we’ve wondered why Henry VIII had had so many women and got away with killing two of them and expecting everyone to worship him as the head of a religion. The answer was looking us squarely in the face. He was Welsh.” McRack, senior lecturer at the newly formed University of the West of Wales who will be writing his findings in a journal article that only 4 people will ever read, pointed to wider consequences “It’s now obvious why he had a son who was too weak to even play in the backs and two daughters who hated each other.” The Wales on Sunday wish to celebrate the promotion of Philips with a 20 page summary of all Wales of Sunday Welsh people including Kylie, Rolf Harries, Maureen O’Hara, Hugh Grant, Elvis, Thomas Jefferson and Emlyn Hughes.