Ham-fisted rugby spectators are taking their passive-aggressive tendencies to the High Court up in London today, in a bid to escalate their quest for access to drinking vessels of greater thickness than a Smart Price bin bag.
The news comes as molecular physicists at the University of Pontardawe have been called in to investigate fresh reports of several Welsh rugby regions serving their diluted beer cordial in nets fashioned from the webs of spiders: “It’s a disgrace,” spat Professor Dai Ing-Foradrink. “Cutting costs is all well and good, especially as many people don’t have a pot to piss in. Piss in one of these, mind, and it’ll leak everywhere mun.”
Only last month, fans at a Cardiff Blues encounter were censured by ground staff for smuggling in condoms ‘with intent to use as an improvised beer container’. Entrepreneurially spirited Executive Chief CEO Man, Richard Holland, allegedly agreed to drop charges on the basis that rugby revellers use any such condoms/balloons/Gregg’s carrier bags under a special license, available for only a quid.