Cool efficient sorting of shit
All members of Team Wales are to be given Mr Wolf’s number and are to be watched over by Chief Executive Roger Lewis to make sure it goes in their phones.
It follows a recent epidemic of Welsh stars determined to press the self-destruct button on their careers by epically failing to have a normal quiet night out with friends without it finishing up with sirens, tear gas and depressing column inches in the papers.
Mr Wolf has been hired by the WRU following his impressive work for Marcellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction assisting John Travolta and Mace Windu in disposing of a body with military precision.
His role will be to sit at home waiting for a call from a Team Wales member along the lines of “Er…hello? Is that Mr Wolf? I’ve er…let myself down”. This will then see him leap into action and arrive on the scene of whatever desolation has been caused and do whatever is necessary to mop it all up before the press and the rozzers get wind of it.
Members of the public who attend nightclubs, journey on trains or hang around the M4 hard shoulder in the middle of the night are advised that if Mr Wolf approaches them and says “If you talk about this to anyone the last thing you see will be your intestines being worn around my neck like a mutherfudgin’ Hawaiian Elvis”, they should be reassured that he does very much mean it.