Berlusconi ‘disappointed’ with Welsh Under-20s

Berlusconi: Just another honest mistake

Italian Prime Minister and charitable friend of young stunning women everywhere, Silvio Berlusconi, was said to be hugely disappointed yesterday after a secret meeting in a dressing room with a large group of teenagers from Wales.

The Duce of Drool was very keen to personally welcome the visitors, especially as muddy grappling followed by a communal bath was rumoured to be on the menu at the San Vito Stadium. “I’ll be having some of that” he was reputed to say. Probably. But in Italian.

The Caesar of Seduction (©, but open to offers) shuffled into the changing rooms post-match in a velvet dressing gown, sporting a chilled Dom Perignon and a 30% extra free bottle of Matey bubblebath, offering what he claimed to be a traditional Italian welcome of ‘sudding the breasts’.

The Senator of Sausage (not sure about that one) was quick to withdraw the offer when the teenagers turned out to be a couple of dozen large males. A spokeswoman for the Prime Minister denied there had been any dodgy intention, and made clear that her starring role in the film ‘Maria Does Milan’ had nothing to do with her getting her current job. No-one has yet pressed charges.