Bankrupt backwater Ireland was again reeling last night after once more being forced to accept international aid. Leading Irish province and rolling maul exponent Munster has been forced into accepting an embarrassing, emergency bailout from the IRB, the Magners League and novelty ginger wig manufacturers. The move follows years of big spending by the Irish region which has attracted international superstars such as Doug Howlett and Chris Wyatt. It’s understood the bailout could run into hundreds of pounds.
The IRB has placed strict conditions on the settlement loans which will see Munster having to drastically reduce their cost base. Moves under consideration apparently involve sacking all three quarters from the squad. “At the end of the day we really only use 9 players, 10 at a push. We can cut costs by a third and not have to change our game plan or training regime” said Director of Rugby Tony McGahan.
The IRFU welcomed the move explaining that it helped them out of a potentially embarrassing situation. “If Munster went bust we’d have to let Connaught into the Heineken Cup and that’s something we never want to see” said an unnamed spokesman.
Lifelong supporter Gerry McGerry was understandably distraught. “It’s a disaster for Irish rugby. We really hate the English but now we’ve got to take a load of money off them. Next time we have a game at Leicester we won’t be able to act quite so smug and self important. We may have to be contrite and accept there are other teams who are actually quite good and capable of beating us”. Upon reflection he added “No, stuff it we’ll just ignore the facts and act the way we always do”.