Scottish coach Andy Robinson has been unrepentant this week about his hopes of turning Saturday’s match again Wales into the muddiest game of rugby since the Ynysybwl Pals Second XV had a prolonged chuck-about during the Battle of Passchendaele.
“I’ll be honest, I’m just praying it’ll shit it down,” muttered the five-times winner of Rugby’s Grumpiest Troll award earlier this week, following the news that no-one can find the handle that shuts the Millennium Stadium roof. “But I’ve got an extra trick up my sleeve,” he added, with a twinkle in one of the misshapen holes in his forehead.
As it transpires, Robinson planned to further stir up pre-match mind games by enlisting a local rainmaker to dance about the pitch following Thursday night’s practice session, waving a plastic tomahawk. This backfired spectacularly when none other than Dale ‘The Chief’ McIntosh turned up as the only respondent to the SRU’s newspaper ad.
“Remember me Robbo?” offered McIntosh, replete in gold lame head-dress, dyed pigeon feathers and felt espadrilles, wielding a cement trowel.
Andy Robinson is no longer available for comment.