The world of rugby was rocked to its foundations today as another Irish international chucked his bunch of sour grapes into the ongoing row which I’ve just decided to christen “Snubgate.”
“Fecking Gatland!” wailed the former-crack-touchline-hugger Simon “Mad Trout Up A Burn” Geoghegan from his retirement home in Bognor Regis.
“It doesn’t matter that I’m 44 and haven’t played international rugby for 17 years. I’m still a better finisher than George North. And I’ve got blond hair.”
“I sat by the phone all night waiting for the call-up for the third test, but it never came. This is worse than the time when I was overlooked in favour of Tony Underpants in 1993.”
Asked if he knew who might be responsible for alleged death threats received by Lions squad members, he responded, “How the feck should I know? We don’t do dat tort a ting.”