Taken-for-granted Wales rugby internationals have delivered a resounding f&*k off to the Welsh man in the street, after name-calling and confidence undermining reached a new low.
“I’ve had it up to here,” revealed Grand Slam winning Luke Charteris, pointing his hand somewhere thought to be near his hairline, beyond the vanishing point of most human eyes. “You try playing a full 80 minutes against a bunch of somewhat shorter hairy bastards trying to kill you, spending your only bits of rest in a 16 man huddle with your head up stuck up Gethin Jenkins’ backside. I just can’t see a way out!”
Having been barged over by the Argentinians, mown down by the Samoans and cream-crackered by the All Blacks, Wales are hoping to get through this weekend’s showdown against those insufferable bloody Australians without any more smart-alec, wise-cracking condescension. And a win, thank you very much…
“Just shut up alright – just shut up,” said Grand Slam winning Rhys Priestland, who quite frankly has had enough of all this bollocks. “You think you can do any better then be my guest, you ungrateful shower of piss. Let’s just say it isn’t easy out there. Try playing real international rugby against the top sides in the world instead of just watching the telly and playing with your balls.”