New RWC Kit in Striptease Scandal

A recent campaign by the WRU, designed to reveal their new RWC kit one bit at a time, has been universally condemned by groups representing angry parents, reclusive cat owners, librarians and vicars. In a sort of shocking reverse striptease, with Facebook “likes” replacing the old fiver in the G-string trick, people are being encouraged by the WRU to “like” their page in return for an increasingly stark glimpse of the kit.

Talking to Gwlad was angry parent Dai “Furious” Furious Dai Jones: “Bastards. They come over here and take MY jobs, oh, wait, that’s the other thing I’m meant to be furious about. Hang on.” After he gathered his thoughts he went on: “I think it’s disgusting and like many parents I’m furious. I can’t believe that the WRU would be involved in such a shameless marketing ploy. Well, I can but I’m still furious.” After catching his breath he continued: “Oh sure, the more you “like” this page, the more kit you get to see but what I’m worried about is that in the future, people will be encouraged to do the exact opposite of this showing less kit and more skin. Before you know it, everyone will be completely in the bloody nuddy all over the internet all because of the WRU. This new campaign encourages pornography, lewd behaviour and even terrorism in some cases. It’s disgusting and I’m FURIOUS.”

In response to such comments head of marketing at the WRU, Craig “BUY MY SHIRT” Maxwell, released this statement:

“Look, all we were trying to do was stir up some excitement because, frankly, you lot haven’t had a lot to get excited about lately. Well, not in a positive sense anyway. You all seem to get very excited about how much it costs to watch Wales lose, get frog-marched to the store on Westgate Street and then get forced to buy the big advert for Admiral Insurance that you associate, through no fault of ours, with a losing team, for the best part of £100. Sure, THAT excites you but not in the way you, or we for that matter, want. To counter this we asked, “what do people like more than rugby?” All at once, the boardroom lit up, Pickers, Moffet and I knew what answer was coming… Strippers.

In better news however, the WRU’s Facebook page teasingly revealed yesterday that the new kit would have red socks. This is good news for Welsh rugby fans everywhere, as described below in our Recent History of Welsh Rugby Socks Feature. Here is our Recent History of Welsh Rugby Socks Feature:

Recent History of Welsh Rugby Socks Feature

2005 – Red socks responsible for Wales winning a Six Nations Grandslam
2006 – No Comment/doesn’t fit in with our sock pattern
2007 – White socks proven to be directly responsible for Wales failing to make RWC knockout stages.
2008 – Return to red socks seals a second Grandslam in 4 seasons for Wales
2009 – Green socks cause Wales to crash to fourth in the Six Nations table
2010 – Green socks cause Wales to crash to fourth in the Six Nations table
2011 – White socks cause Wales to crash to fourth in the Six Nations table
RWC 2011 – Red socks expected to lead Wales to RWC glory

Socks are generally made from cotton, go on your legs and under your shoes. You should always put them on before you put your shoes on but don’t wear them with sandals. Rugby teams all wear socks and socks can be bought/stolen from all good clothes stores.