As the time taken to have a successful scrum in international rugby matches is rapidly approaching a length that would excite Professor Brian Cox, IRB chiefs have been puzzling over what to do. Possible solutions have been varied and include:
* ignoring the knock on that caused the scrum in the first place (Paddy O’Brien)
* ignoring the forward pass that caused the scrum in the first place (Wayne Barnes)
* have free kicks instead of scrums (most of Australia), and
* just stand up during the scrum (John Hayes, Steve Thompson et al)
A new radical measure is going to be trialled during the Super XXVIIs. This will be the joining of the line-outs to the scrums. “Ut’s un amazing moooove” said an alternate universe’s David Moffett. News of the new super-set piece excited those in and out of the rugby world. “This……is quite simply…..what I’ve been. Looking forward. To. Since I was interested. In rugby……and space….when I was a small….boy.” said Professor Brian Cox from on top of a bloody mountain. “Rugby will gain trillions, of trillions, of trillions of new supporters. In this way. Aren’t stars brilliant!!!?!” he added, in the middle of a South American desert.