Wales Appoint Giving Away Stupid Mindless Penalties Coach

Wales once again are leading the rugby world by taking lessons from the world of science and appointing a Giving Away Stupid Mindless Penalties Coach. This world of science isn’t the rigourous, peer reviewed accumulation of verifiable and reliable knowledge but The World of Science, a comic book from the 1950s that predicted what the world would look like in 2010. “We still can’t seem to locate any of the monkey powered jet bikes or robot women that this historical artifact states are in existence today” stated Warren Gatland pensively (I say ‘pensively’ but it could be ‘joyfully’ it’s so hard to tell with these New Zealanders) “but we’re hoping that with the same level of unrealistic optomism and disregard of the laws of physics, this appointment of a what all the cool kids are calling GASMPC!, Wales can once again lead the way. GASMPC!!” Robert Howley added “Robert Howley thinks that giving away stupid mindless penalties is something that Wales have really made their own. New Zealand can come in from completely the wrong side of the rucks and not get pinged but Wales can do exactly the same thing and just make it look idiotic. It’s the one area we excel at so what we’ve thought is that the only way to rid this from our game is to coach it out of the players. Hell, it’s worked with nearly everything else.” Wales are also thought to be hiring a Finding New Ways to Lose Tsar and, to work with the media, a Talking All Big Before a Game Jefe.

Gatland went further to explain the rationale. “Well, it’s like this, eh? Say you’re a country with limited resources and you can’t access any more. This is the name of the system that you have to use to make sure everyone gets their fair share.”