Dogs for Sale, say Dragons

Ruff and ready rugby roadies Newport Gwent South Wales Dragons are offering their ‘underdogs’ tag for sale, in a bid to raise cash ahead of another bitingly cold winter.  The wonga will go toward the upkeep of the Dragon’s most coveted tag: ’hardworking’, and fund urgent reparis to ’fortress’ – currently majority owned by Rodney Parade.

“We hope to raise a similar amount that Connacht did when they sold off their ‘whipping boys’ tag to Aironi,” spat dead-pan Head Coach Paul Turner.  “But the tag market is pretty uncompromising, let me tell you.  When we were flying high a couple of seasons ago we bid for ‘complete bastards’ from Leicester, but they turned us down – the complete bastards.”

Child benefit “last straw” for Henson

Gavin Henson confirmed last night that he will be leaving Wales for the bright lights of London as soon as he finishes filming his latest reality/celebrity TV show. Speaking exclusively to Gwladrugby he revealed the true reasons behind the move.

“This coalition Government’s cuts are really going to hit me hard. I was banking on the £1500 I get in child benefit to see me right but now they’ve taken it away. It was bad enough losing the family tax allowance and having to pay the Council Tax on the bedsit but with this as well I just can’t make ends meet. As I’m currently unemployed and have no spouse to sponge off so I think I have a right to expect everyone else to support me.”

Asked what the future holds for him in the capital Henson replied. “My advisors tell me I can make money out of dancing. You know, like those breakdancing guys in Harlem or those Russian bears. I think this could be a big move for me. I’m in great condition and it’ll only take one or two hours down a subway for me to be world class. However all the subways in Swansea are taken and Pencoed just doesn’t have the right feel so its got to be London.”

Lembit Opik was asked to comment but his response was unintelligible.