Sweet Chariot loses “worst stadium dirge” tag

In a shock move which will send ripples of terror through the corridors of power at HQ, the people who are in charge of this sort of thing have decided that English rugby dirge “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” is no longer the officially most annoying noise to be heard in international sports arenas.

The honour now passes to the plastic trumpets, or Vuvuzelas, currently annoying the hell out of everyone watching and listening to the association rules football world cup. Apparently it’s a big thing and is being held in South Africa. I thought they played rugby there. Philistines.

A spokesman for the RFU, Nigel Fuckbucket-Smythe, was incandescent: “Ever since the chariot song reared its ugly head during the 80s, Twickenham has had something unique to identify it above other sporting venues. Now the only unique selling points we have left are our proximity to Tesco’s and our selection of overpriced fish and chips.”