Strapping 6’5”, 17st 9lb colossus Jonathan Thomas is counting his lucky stars this week having won an all-expenses paid trip to the other side of the gainline. Thomas, who plies his trade as a professional rugby player when not turning out for the Wales senior XV, will reportedly pick up his prize from coaching supremo Warren Gatland once hell has frozen over.
“I’ve been to the gainline a few times during my 56 cap Wales career but now I’ve got the chance to actually cross it I’m near enough weeing myself in anticipation,” commented Thomas. “Normally there is somebody in the way stopping you going any further, which can get pretty frustrating let me tell you. Hell should freeze over any day now Gats says, now that pig flying season is in full swing.”
Thomas remains the only Wales back-row not to have crossed the gainline since namesake Arwel was selected at No.8 for the ill-fated 96-13 reverse at Bloemfontein.
JT was also the victim of harsh criticism from some quarters during last weekend’s thrilling ebb and flow car-crash against the Springboks. “In fairness to Jonathan, he hasn’t played more than about 85% of his rugby at blindside flanker over the last 10 years, and it was hard to come into an unfamiliar Wales set up and learn all of the highly complex and intellectually nuanced calls that we use with Andy Powell,” claimed forwards beaster Robin McBryde. “RUN!!! – for instance. THAT WAY!!! Stuff like that.”