Alan Philips Hints He’ll Take a Quieter Roll – IRFU Begin Merger Talks.

In a rugby bombshell, Alan Philips, who does stuff for the Wales team has stated he’ll take more of a quieter roll in his work with Team Wales. He’s believed to have talked of only doing the half time interview for half of the Wales games in future and to perhaps outsource the numbering of team socks to the private sector.

This radical change has been seen as a first step in merging Wales with their Irish counterparts in a move that the IRFU think will halt the stated Wal-Eng Pact, dead in its tracks. “We share a proud, shared heritage of hating the English, selling t-shirts with Celtic crosses on them, having a large proportion of the population with red hair and still being in a shit league” shouted Shillally O’Mc Doughnal late last night while punching his cousin playfully around the eye.

“This is great news for those that buy into all this celtic cousin bollocks.” said Llangennech’s own Huw Edwards. “However, I don’t really follow much about rugby these days as I’m more of a newsreader. I was at the Pope’s funeral, you know! Not the nazi pope. The nice one. The one on all those cups they sold in Pontcana fields in the early 80s”.

The move does have it’s problems. It’s thought that Wales and Ireland won’t be able to form a good enough team on their own and may have to rely on a couple of Scottish, some Celtic League Italians and perhaps a couple of nutters from Cornwall. “Y Grwp Enfys” will also have internal difficulties marrying together Wales’ ability to find new and exciting ways to lose with Ireland’s cheat at all costs raison d’etre. Graham Symonds of Sky Sports was heard as saying “NO! You can’t do that. What about England and their super Guinness Premiership and wonder Johnny. WAHHHH! WAHHHH!!!”