Ricky Martin to join the Crusaders

The rugby world was rife with speculation last night that Puerto Rican pop sensation Ricky Martin is set to join rugby league side the Crusaders. The Latin heartthrob was seen arriving at the Racecourse on the weekend alongside new recruit Gareth Thomas.

Perennial underachievers the Crusaders have launched a ferocious recruitment campaign which has seen them sign former union legend Gareth Thomas and some journeymen Australians in an attempt to win a game. Head coach Paul Noble is also known to be keen to spark some interest in South Wales so they can leave the wastelands of Wrexham and play in more affluent surroundings, such as Port Talbot or Newport Docks.

If the signing is completed in time it’s likely that Ricky’s first game could be against the Harlequins at the Gnoll this week. Ricky first played at the ground when touring with boy band Menudo on their breakthrough 1993 tour and is known to be a big fan of the facilities and the town. “Those boys in Neath sure showed me a good time” he once told Mexican television. It is widely believed that his No.1 smash Livin’ La Vida Loca was inspired by events at the after party in Neath Cricket Club.

Former dual code star Jonathon Davies commented “He’s got two good feet and likes a bit of crash bang up the middle. Need I say more?” before confusingly shouting “show and go” in a high pitched squeal.

Iestyn “never quite got union” Harris refused to answer questions