Wales in haka nonresponse shocker

WRU officials were blasted earlier today by senior NZRFU elders as reports emerged suggesting that Wales plan on not responding to the haka this autumn.

“We’re hearing that, instead of monkeying around with anthems, standing still, standing in an funny shape or throwing grass around, Wales plan on just watching the haka then getting on with the game. Its a clear break with tradition and is unacceptable,” said NZRFU President Corey Awwwmate.

Sources in Wales seem to back up the rumours, “We’re trying something different that is for shoo-er.” burbled an unnamed source, “Not messing around during the haka and then getting on with the game is certainly innovative but we’re building the right synchronicity between backs and forwards and putting the right systems in place etc etc,” said another source who would only be identified as Haun Sholley.

However, a solution to the crisis may come from the regions: “We invite the All Blacks, should they be unhappy with arrangements at the Millenium Stadium, to take their pre match haka across the city to our magnificent new home at the Cardiff (definetly not City) Stadium,” said (cardiff) BLUES Chairman Peter Thomas. “The stadium has modern haka disruption facilities second to none and I’m sure our supporters would love to see the programme of mascot racing, flag waving and innane chatter we have planned for them if they accept our offer.”

RSPB in bid to save the Ospreys

The rugby world was rocked last night by an announcement that the RSPB are set to stage a forced takeover of struggling Welsh region the Ospreys.

The star studded Ospreys have struggled to get out of first gear this season and suffered an embarrassing home defeat to Irish minnows Leinster on Friday night despite have 32 full internationals in their starting 15. The self styled galacticos are now facing a challenge even greater than that of their team orchestrating a cohesive back line move.

Announcing the move an RSPB spokesman said “the RSPB is committed to the protection of birds and also taking steps to help any birds who are in distress or suffering. That includes both Ospreys and headless chickens. We need to take immediate action to put these Ospreys out of their misery”.

If successful in their bid it is thought that the Liberty stadium car park will be turned into a wetland area and the stands replaced with a couple of bird watching sheds. “We don’t see an issue with capacity” said the RSPB.

Elite Director of Elite Directors Andrew Hore has insisted that the Ospreys can weather this new storm and turn things around on the pitch, adding “Scott Johnson is the right man for the job. Only this morning he had the boys in for a quick chuck around followed by a game of touch rugby and piggy back races”, adding “I know elite when I see it”.

Rick O’Shea is considering his position.