All posts by boy out of the valley

SPOILED

Online Welsh rugby forum Gwlad has been SLAMMED by a member of the public for “ruining” his enjoyment of the Wales v Ireland game. J. Edgar Hoover of Merthyr Tydfil was unable to watch the game live due to personal reasons, although when pushed on the matter, he said, “Well, I needed to clean out my shed and then take some stuff to the tip before it closed. Oh, and I popped into the supermarket on the way back to pick up some toilet roll and, as it turns out, horse meat.” All this meant that by the time he arrived back home the game had finished.

Cunningly, Mr Hoover had made use of his Sky+ box and recorded the game so he could watch it later, at his leisure. However, perhaps not so cunningly, as part of his strategy to not find out the result of the game, Mr Hoover logged onto Gwlad Rugby Chat as soon as he arrived home. He was staggered at what he found there. “It was obvious from the title of the threads that Ireland had won”, spat an outraged Mr Hoover. “SPOILER threads are supposed to guard against this kind of thing and posters should understand that not all of the rugby-mad Welsh public watch the game live.”

A spokesman for Gwlad said that this issue was being taken “very seriously”, adding that Mr Hoover is clearly a twunt and that Hook can’t control a game at 10.

A spokesman for The WRU said that a statement is being drafted and will be ready for publication this Autumn. He also confirmed, following a loud cough by the Chief Executive, that the level of debt left by the previous regime continues to plummet year-on-year.

Front Row to be Increased to Four?

Team Wales selectors have been blasted by Graham Turner, the Newport Gwent Dragons track suit consultant. “There’s an Osprey, a Blue and a Scarlet in the national front row”, snarled Tuner. “Why can’t there be a Dragon in there too? We have four regions, so why not allocate a place in the front row to each? We have Aled Brew over here near to the English border and there’s no reason why someone like him couldn’t do a job as the fourth man at the coal face.”
“I know what’s going on here”, continued Turner in surprisingly frank mood, “It’s racism. Because we are almost in England the Welsh won’t select us. All that will come of this will be to cement head coach Warren Gatland’s place in history.”